CALL (732) 741-1333 | Barbara Fane, LCSW, BCD, Monmouth County Therapy & Counseling - 23 White Street, Shrewsbury, NJ 07702

Grief is hard work and can be exhausting.

You probably feel that there is no one who can possibly understand what you are feeling and experiencing. These are tips to help you cope as you begin to deal with your loss.

  1. Choose carefully whom you share with. Do not go to those for comfort who may not be able to give it to you.If you are not ready to go to baby showers or to visit new babies, don’t. Tell the truth if you think the person inviting you can handle it. If you don’t think they can handle it tell them you have the flu.
  2. Be straight forward with friends or family members whose style of consoling does not work for you. Thank them and tell them that it is too hard for you to hear what they have to say.
  3. Remember that you and your partner will probably have different styles of grieving. Men, in general, are often more action oriented, while women tend to take more time to talk about their feelings. The two of you will work through your grief at a different pace. Be patient with each other.
  4. Try to find sources of support other than your partner. The two of you may not always be emotionally available to each other.
  5. Take extra good care of your body. Eat well, get plenty of rest and get exercise that is appropriate to your physical state.
  6. Take time together with your partner. Make a point to schedule dates or outings. Try to avoid making major decisions during your intense grieving time. Your mind is too clouded.
  7. Keeping a box of mementos of your baby or your pregnancy can be very helpful in your healing process. Most parents find it comforting to keep photos, hospital records, ultrasound pictures and other memories.
  8. If your despair continues to affect your daily coping I can help you move forward. Sometimes counseling is needed to help you move towards the future.