CALL (732) 741-1333 | Barbara Fane, LCSW, BCD, Monmouth County Therapy & Counseling - 23 White Street, Shrewsbury, NJ 07702

Therapy and Counseling for Parents of LGBT

My Child is GAY!
Now What Do I Do?

You weren’t prepared to hear: Mom, Dad. I’m gay… or …I’m a lesbian… or …I’m bisexual. Stunned, a thousand thoughts and questions raced through your mind.

Maybe you suspected your child was gay, but your son has said: Mom, deep inside, I know I’m a girl. Or perhaps your daughter has revealed that she feels miserable and trapped in a female body, and knows she is supposed to be a male.

You’re caught completely off guard by the idea that your child could be transgendered.

Having a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered child, no matter how old, is something you never expected. You’ve been struggling to understand, but it’s too much to take in. Or, you could be in denial about this reality. You may be feeling isolated and scared, like you need someone to talk to.

Your world has suddenly turned upside down.

You’re worried for your child, and might be thinking How will I ever handle this? Perhaps you don’t know where to turn with feelings like:

  • initial disbelief and shock
  • lingering confusion and bewilderment
  • overwhelming fear and worry
  • deep sadness and sense of loss
  • guilt or embarrassment
  • anger and blame
parents of lgbt

You aren’t alone. I can help you find your way.

If some time has past since your child’s coming out, you might be taking the news in stride, and just have a few questions about how to best be supportive.

Or, you might be feeling the shock, denial, anger, guilt and loss of a deep grief. It may feel as if you have lost your child, but you haven’t. Your child is the same person he or she was yesterday.

But you have lost the dreams and expectations you have held for your son or daughter. That loss can be very difficult and disorienting.

As a caring parent, you may worry about your child’s safety. You know GLBT individuals can experience more difficulties in life, and you feel unequipped to cope or accept who they are.

In my Shrewsbury office, I welcome gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals – and their parents – when you need support for your grief and education for your fears. Confidentiality is guaranteed.

Adjusting to a new reality is hard
but you don’t have to do it alone
Barbara Fane, LCSW, BCD

Acceptance heals broken hearts all the way around.