CALL (732) 741-1333 | Barbara Fane, LCSW, BCD, Monmouth County Therapy & Counseling - 23 White Street, Shrewsbury, NJ 07702

More often than not, you’ll come across articles that tell you to “fight your depression.”

You’ll see blogs, treatment advertisements, and expert posts about “making fear disappear.”

Except, you’re already exhausted and afraid. You’re hurting and alone.

Who has the energy to fight?

It is important to understand that depression and anxiety are not your enemies. They just are. To move through your pain, you need a better way to heal.

Acceptance is that way. Rather than engage in an ongoing battle with depression and anxiety.

Be still, ask questions, breathe in and out, let the pain exist. It’s okay to look at it.

It’s okay to be hurt and ask why. We call this approach of peaceful acceptance…


Acknowledge what you’re suffering. Simply look inward and know what you know. Notice your thoughts and feelings without judging them.

You know that you’re enduring something painful and uncomfortable. Accept that the negative rumination and anxious thoughts are familiar and persistent. Feel how they take up residence in your mind and body.

You know that no list of symptoms or “Top 12 ways to manage depression,” helps much right now. Allow yourself to be present and in pain. Then, you can begin to see your thoughts and feelings as something that just “is.” Not a character flaw, an indictment of your choices, or a life sentence of unfulfilling options. Acceptance brings clarity.

Give yourself to sitting quietly and noticing your thoughts, however dark or uncomfortable. Look at them, listen to them in your head. Don’t judge or shame yourself for having them. You may soon find that their power to control and frighten you begins to decrease. From there, you’ll be able to develop…


The reality is, you are depressed. The fact is, you are anxious.

Telling yourself that truth, so that you can accept it and appreciate what it will take to care for yourself is the key to feeling better and living better.

Why? Because acceptance brings empowerment, healing, and options.

Avoidance, withdrawal, and isolation keep you feeling bullied by your moods and defeated or stifled by the idea that how you feel is wrong or unacceptable.

Once you’ve accepted where you are, you can decide whether you want to remain there. You can move with your future in mind. You can seek a guide and more support, because you have an honest appreciation for what you’re facing and what it will take to find relief.

As you begin to face the truth: “I am depressed, scared, and hopeless.”

You can begin to ask why: “What triggered this, what is really happening, what do I want?”

Otherwise, you become stuck in the same mental rut of shame or circuit of racing fear-filled thoughts that insist you can only respond to your dark moods by beating yourself up for feeling that way in the first place. Acceptance isn’t resignation it’s freedom and honesty.

The pain and isolation of depression and anxiety begin to lose their grip as acceptance ushers in self-care, forward movement, and productive help. At that point, you’ll be able to manage depression and anxiety from a place of…


Acceptance of your situation helps you face what is painful from a place of strength and makes acceptance of yourself and the circumstance integral to the way you cope with life in general. Facing the situation with calm, support, and hope allows you to accept that some measure of negativity, loneliness, and worry are weaved into your life, and the lives of those around you.

The existence of depression and anxiety doesn’t have to keep you down or running scared. Instead, you may find that when acceptance fosters mindfulness, appreciation, and tolerance, happiness and the freedom to live well fully blooms.

If you’re suffering from depression and anxiety and are having trouble finding your path to acceptance, contact me. I can help you stop your exhausting fight with depression and anxiety and learn how mindfulness, acceptance, and tolerance can help you.